Sexy Secrets
by Ceylonna
Summary: When shopping at Sexy Secrets for Misao's 'Celebrating Singlehood' anti Valentine's day party, Kaoru encounters Kenshin. Oneshot.


WARNING: This story is rated M. It contains adult language, references to sex, sex toys, and pornography.

This was intended to be a drabble in response to the Smoke and Mirrors challenge:

Cheesy Valentine's Day Gifts  
That's right! Fuzzy handcuffs, silk roses, melted chocolates, and ugly lingerie! It all goes! Tonight your characters will suffer the trials and tribulations of The Dreaded Day of Lovers!

At first I was greatly stumped by this, but dwelling on it some I came up with an idea. I was originally intending just to describe the party/gifts, but the K/K fan in me really wanted to work Kenshin into this. However, once I got inspired with such an idea, I found it was much, much longer than I think a drabble really should be. So I've worked it over a bit more than I generally revise my drabbles and decided to post it as a stand alone. The title doesn't quite fit, IMO, but I couldn't come up with anything better. Currently, I consider it a one-shot, but I've been toying with an idea for a follow-up, if there's interest.

Standard disclaimers apply: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, etc.

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**Sexy Secrets**

Leaving her last class for the day, Kaoru looked down at her watch. _14:03 02/14/06_ flashed back at her. Two o'clock. She should have plenty of time to catch the bus to uptown, do her shopping, and make it back to the apartment by 7:00 for Misao's party.

Kaoru smiled as she walked to the bus stop. Misao was always one to do things a bit differently. This was their third year 'Celebrating Singlehood' as Misao called it. Kaoru considered it an 'Anti-Valentine's Day' celebration. Whatever it was, it was a Misao creation.

They had been roommates their freshman year of college and neither had been dating anyone when Valentine's Day had rolled around that year. Misao had declared that instead of moping over men or getting hit on by desperate losers at the clubs, they would instead 'Celebrate Singlehood'.

Of course, with Misao, nothing was ever that simple. The day before the party she had informed Kaoru that they would exchange gifts. The idea, Misao had explained, was to get truly terrible valentines day presents for each other – the kind that made you think 'it's better to be single than to have a boyfriend who'd buy _that_ as a romantic gift'.

Kaoru hadn't full understood what Misao meant, but over the course the evening it had sunk in. Misao had decorated the room with ugly carnations and tacky candles.

There was cheap champagne and chocolates, or as Misao had put it, "shitty champagne and crappy chocolates. At least this way you aren't disappointed and don't have to pretend they are good, like you would with a real boyfriend."

The gift exchange had drove the point home for Kaoru. Having quickly fled the sex shop in embarrassment, she had picked up a pair of fuzzy hand cuffs from Spenser's and some hideous orange lingerie from a second hand store. She was actually quite proud of her gift – after all, used lingerie was just distasteful. Misao had agreed that such a gift would indeed be unappreciated.

However, Misao's gift had really impressed Kaoru. It managed to pull off the I'm-really-only-thinking-of-myself-when-giving-you-this vibe accompanied so many of the self-centered guys who had hit on them that year. But at the same it, it managed to be 'tasteful' in the if-given-under-the-right-circumstances-it-might-_almost_-be-okay way.

In handing her the box, Misao had commented, "Pretend this has a cheesy card saying something like 'To My Warrior Princess. I'll give you my Sword of Love to go with this latter tonight.'"

Opening it, Kaoru had found an almost stereotypical fantasy swordswoman outfit. The top was a metallic type bra, with mini shields for the cups. The bottom was even more horrifying – crotchless, chainlink panties. Kaoru had blushed and stuttered, before laughing hysterically with Misao.

Kaoru laughed softly in remembrance as she left the bus. That night had been a great time with Misao. The subsequent year, when Misao suggested they celebrate again, Kaoru had readily agreed. Since she had been just getting over a bad relationship and Misao was, as she put it, "playing the field", there had been plenty of fodder for their discussion of what attributes were undesirable in a man.

This year's party should be fun as well, though most likely without the bitterness and cynicism that had flavored the previous one. Misao had her eye on a guy named Aoshi, who after some discreet inquiries, seemed to be a decent man, if a bit reserved in Kaoru's opinion. Kaoru wasn't seeing any one, but she wasn't broken hearted anymore. In fact, she was quite happy and confident in her singlehood – not that she'd object the right guy coming along, but she wasn't desperately seeking a man either.

Stopping in front the of the store, Kaoru took a deep breath. While definitely less prude and more sexually savvy than she had been her first year, she still had never really shopped in a sex store. The one she had entered briefly her freshmen year had been in a seedy neighborhood, with a creepy guy who leered at her as she entered. However, this store was well lit and in a trendy part of town. She had heard they were friendly and helpful without being overly personal. Straightening her shoulders, she opened the door.

&&&&&

Kenshin looked around the empty store and sighed, sitting down. Amelia's shift had just ended and he was on his own until Jim arrived at five. The on-my-lunch-break shoppers had cleared out and the after-work-but-before-dinner crowd had not yet entered. Resting, he put his head on the counter. Valentine's Day was decisively not his favorite day to work. Having worked at the sex store for almost four years now, he knew the products quite well and even how to cheerfully, yet respectfully, help the customers. But on Valentine's Day, his patience wore thin. Tons of people, each wanting the most sexy or romantic thing available (all with different ideas as to what that was), all in a rush. And of course, they were always terribly upset when he told them that the store had sold out of pink version of the dildo, vibrator, cock ring, or what ever else had caught their eye. It wasn't his fault that they were out of stock – this was a small store and Valentine's Day was already half over. They had the item in silver and purple, but the customers never seemed to care.

Closing his eyes, Kenshin smiled. When he had first entered the store his freshmen year, his face had been as red as his hair. Being desperate for a job and dragged along by his friend Sano, he had reluctantly applied. After returning later to talk with Amelia, the owner, he had been hired, much to his surprise. Sano, who had be more _familiar_ with such things, had not been.

Months later, having learned at least theoretically, the uses and features of the various products, he had asked Amelia why she had hired someone so obviously naïve as him.

She had explained that he was polite and nonjudgmental, that he could help people without flirting with them (something Sano clearly had problems with), and that while he initially appeared unintimidating, he had the strength and personality to deal with perverts and exhibitionists when necessary. He was glad those years of martial arts were useful somehow.

Kenshin opened his eyes and looked at the clock. 2:37. He closed his eyes again. He had already had his lunch break and there was still over five hours before closing. Of course, he couldn't really complain since it wasn't like he had a significant other to celebrate with. While there were plenty of items in the store to enhance his sex life, there wasn't any way to give him a sex life. Well a non-solo sex life that is.

'Face it,' Kenshin thought, 'working at a sex shop is not a good way to meet women.' Honesty forced him to qualify that thought. 'Well, it's not a good way to meet a single, heterosexual woman looking for long-term, monogamous relationship, anyway.'

&&&&&

There was a jingle as the door was pulled open. Kenshin stood, looking up to meet the blue eyes of the fit, black haired, young woman who entered the store. Smiling, he walked over to her.

"Hello, my name is Kenshin," he said. "Welcome to _Sexy Secrets_. May I help you find anything today?"

"Hi." Kaoru blushed faintly. "I'm, um .. looking for something for my ..ah.. friend, Misao."

"Certainly," Kenshin said gently as he led her over to a corner of the store. "We have a nice selection of double-ended dildos, which are particularly popular due to the _closeness_ they provide couples."

"What!" stuttered Kaoru as her face grew even redder. "No, no, it's not like that at all. Really, she is just friend. We're having a "Celebrate Singlehood" party tonight," Kaoru babbled frantically.

"Oh, excuse me, miss," Kenshin apologized. He felt his cheeks grow warm. He hadn't made such a blunder in ages. After working here for four years, he could usually pick up on this sort of thing. True, the young woman hadn't struck him as particularly gay, but that wasn't something you could usually tell at first. However, given the holiday and the feminine friend's name, he had jumped to conclusions.

"We also have a wide selection of nice dildos designed for individual use.," he continued, hoping to redeem himself. He thought their selection was still plentiful, but Valentine's Day tended to hit the inventory pretty hard.

"Umm, well I'm actually not looking for something _nice_, per se," Kaoru muttered.

Kenshin's forehead crinkled in mild confusion.

Kaoru continued hurriedly, "It's a supposed to be a gift that say, 'being single is better than having a boyfriend who would give such a thing'."

"Ah, we do have a selection of dildos with strange shapes and appendages," Kenshin said, still somewhat confused as to what the young lady was looking for.

Kaoru thought for a moment. "I think any sort of dildo implies too much confidence from the mythical lousy boyfriend. The I'm-happy-not-to-be dating kind of crappy boyfriend would be too worried about comparisons to his own, um, equipment to give such a gift."

They fell silent as Kenshin thought frantically.

Kaoru spoke up, trying desperately to fill the air. "For instance, our freshman year Misao gave me a 'warrior princess' costume, that was even more revealing and less comfortable than Xena's."

Kenshin held back a laugh as she continued to describe the gift and fictitious card.

"See," Kaoru babbled, "Misao knew that I've studied kendo for years, and thought the whole sword/fighting thing would be fitting."

"Really?" Kenshin looked interested. "I've studied marshal arts myself, what style do you practice?" he asked, attempting partially to buy time to find something else to show her.

Kaoru went on to explain her families style, its philosophy and how she had taught at their dojo for several years. She knew it was way more information then he likely wanted, but the chance to talk about something non-sexual was a relief.

While he was listening Kenshin scanned the store. He would have loved to compare sword styles with her, but he was working. And it really wasn't appropriate to get personal with a customer, no matter how attractive he found her.

Leading her over to another section of the store, he commented, "Let's look over here, miss."

"Oh, call me Kaoru," she said, holding out her hand, smiling as they shook.

"Perhaps some of our edible men's underwear might be of interested. Or some sex-shaped candy? We also have flavored lubricants, which make excellent gifts, even if they aren't well suited for solo play," Kenshin remarked.

Kaoru laughed. "Last year Misao gave me a collection of rather appallingly flavored lubes, a book on the art of fellatio, and a copy of the Karma Sutra. Good thinking though."

Kenshin pulled a small smiled. "Well, we try to carry high quality lubricants, and we do have samples available prior to purchases."

"That's smart. The banana flavored one she bought was just plain nasty. Of course," she admitted, "I don't care much for bananas much anyway."

"Misao thought the Karma Sutra was a themy touch," Kaoru added randomly, mentally cursing her self for babbling so much around a rather cute guy. "I'm a literature major at the local college."

Kenshin's face brightened. He might be able to run into her outside the store sometime. "I'm a physics major there," he said. He directed her towards the back of the store.

"Speaking of literature, we have a modest, yet tasteful selection of books, movies, and pictures. You might be able to find something appropriate there."

"I gave her a couple of DVDs last year," Kaoru replied. She had thought ahead that year and had Katamari give her suggestions. She even bought them online to avoid this whole sex store visit. This year, unfortunately, she hadn't remembered in time and had no good ideas.

"Misao had been toying with the idea of becoming a film major and it seemed like the perfect fit. I even made a mock card – something to the effect of 'To help with your academic studies, I would be delighted to do an in-depth study and reenactment of these seminal works. Love, your thankfully fictitious, crappy boyfriend"

Kenshin chuckled. "What movies did you choose, if you don't mind me asking?" In general, he was not supposed to be engaging in such an extensive conversation with the customers – help them, answer their questions, and respect their privacy. However, the extraneous conversation seemed to be helping this customer relax from her obvious discomfort. Plus, it gave him time to consider what else might work for her.

"To start with, I got her _Caligula_," said Kaoru.

"A well known film of artistically quality and directing," said Kenshin, "though some consider it a bit to explicit to be art, per se."

She grinned. "Yep. To go with that I also choose _Deep Throat_."

"Another famous work, having historical implications no less." Kenshin responded, trying to sound serious.

"And finally…" Kaoru pause, ginning.

Kenshin raised his eyebrows.

"_Debbie Does Dallas._"

He laughed. "A foundational and sequel inspiring work. Excellent choices. For that type of gift anyway." He grinned and continued, "seems as though you have the artistic end covered." He scanned the store searching for ideas.

"Well, one possibility might be the remote control vibrating underwear," he said showing her the item. "We're out of the standard red and black, but given your situation the lime green version might be better suited."

Kaoru examined the box, biting her lip. It was a decent suggestion, but seemed to lack some of the subtle insinuations that previous gifts had managed.

"Ah ha!" said Kenshin. "Now, this seems more apt." He pointed to what looked like a metal pair of panties with a big lock on front. "It's a chastity belt," he clarified. "Your mock boyfriend can even keep the key."

"Perfect," Kaoru grinned. "A gift usable only by her, yet uncomfortable and slyly suggesting that 'he' considers her a slut. I'll take it."

They walked over to the cash register. "I just need to pick up some cheap chocolates and I'll be all set for the night. Thanks so much for your help," she said.

"No problem. I hope you enjoy your party. It sounds like a great idea. If my best friend wasn't dating someone I'd be tempted to throw a similar one with him," he replied.

Kaoru blinked. This sociable, not to mention hot, young man was single? Looking him over once more, she mentally shook her head. Perhaps he was gay? But event still, some guy should have snapped him up. Handing over her credit card, she commented, "so no wild plans for the night? That's too bad."

"Well I work until eight. I was thinking of calling up Aoshi, my lab mate, to go out to the pub, when I get off."

"Aoshi!" Kaoru exclaimed. "Is he also a physics major at school?"

"Yes. Aoshi Shinomori," Kenshin replied, raising his eyebrows. "Do you know him?" he asked, handing her the slip to sign.

"Not exactly," she said, reaching for a pen. "I've heard a ton about him however. He's Misao's current obsession." Pursing her lips, her brow wrinkled. "Ah.. what pub did you say the two of you were going to?" she asked, signing her name.

Kenshin's eyes twinkled. "McNally's, over on Lake street. We'd probably show up around nine." He handed her the bag.

"We'll umm.. have to check it out some time." she replied. Kaoru walked to the door. "Bye Kenshin, Thanks for all your help."

Kenshin waved. He hoped they would drop by the pub later. It would be a great chance to get to know the Kaoru, something he really wanted to do. And if the didn't show, well… perhaps he could arrange something. He grinned. After all, Aoshi really needed to get out more.


End file.
